Reusable Slaughter Bottle (32oz) Color:Black These Death Metal Can Coolers

These Death Metal Can Coolers use advanced technology (steel) to keep your can colder and your hand more regular temperature than ever previously thought possible

The Easy-Drinking Energy Drink

you should not place it in or near your friend’s butthole without consulting them or their doctor first either

Artwork by Joshua Noom

Reusable Slaughter Bottle (32oz) Color:Black These Death Metal Can CoolersIntroducing our most exciting advancement in thirst slaughtering yet: The Slaughter Bottle. Originally it was just a Liquid Death can with a dream of dismembering thirsts repeatedly until the earth gets sucked into the sun. It trained. It bulked up. It underwent dangerous experimental procedures at the hands of our least ethical scientists. Now, this towering, hulking drinking vessel is armed with a lid allowing for eternal reusability and brutally